Things a single Kenyan woman knows (or has done) by the time she is 30

So, I recently turned thirty (hurrraayy!!!) and thought i needed to make my list of things to know/do by the time you are thirty.

Here goes... 

Relationships: The top agenda of the twenties is romantic relationships. A girl has her major love and major heartache in this decade. The heart mends but becomes more immune to future heartbreaks. You learn and prioritize your ideal man ‘list’.  At 30, you know how much you are willing to take, you are clear on your expectation and you know when to walk out of a relationship. By now you have clear boundaries and this defines how your partner treats you.

Friendships: The early twenties, which coincide with your campus years are your last chance to form true friendship bonds. After that, they say, you mainly pick up acquaintances and convenience buddies. Your late twenties are marked by the shedding period where you only keep those friendships that are worth the effort, people are busy now, careers are budding, no one has time to drag a whole crowd along. You learn to accept this reality and move on. At thirty, you have a close circle of friends, each of these symbiotic friendships serves a purpose in your life, and each is different.

Sex: Oh yes, this deserves a mention too. The sex curve of a woman in the 20's decade is extremely diverse. It begins with a very naïve girl in her early twenties, to the more adventurous mid twenties and finally a more relaxed girl..nay woman, by the time 30 is knocking. How a woman views sex at 30 is hugely different from her younger years. The fumbling, the shame and the ‘fakes’ of earlier years dissipate and a more confident woman able to articulate her needs emerges.

Self image: A point closely linked to the above is self image. How a woman perceives herself. We all know the teen years are characterized by a dip in self esteem. As we turn 19, the pimples might have cleared but the sense of self doubt still persists. Deep into the 20's we still obsess about the size or shape of particular body parts, skin blemishes, hair and this inadvertently impacts on our sex life. But a certain switch flips as we enter the late 20's. Acceptance of who we are sets in. You rediscover your body and you are in awe of it, warts and all, stretch marks, bumps, skinny limbs, you love yourself wholly, in spite of the imperfections.

Spirituality: You have by this time moved from one denomination to another, seeking, running, questioning. You have probably flirted with different other faiths especially earlier on in your 20's. You probably fell out with God when sex came into the picture or when tragedy befell you. 30 is time to reconnect with your spirit self. You have finally chosen the direction you want to follow, have your values cemented and ready to guide probable offspring into a certain spiritual path.

Career: BY the time a woman is 30, she has her career firmly set, the foundations have been laid, the donkey work with little pay done. You are ready for the rise in this next decade. You have your goals laid out, you have figured how family life will affect it and made the necessary concessions.

Purpose: The ever elusive question, what is my purpose in life? This decade will be spent trying to figure this out, you will probably find out sooner or later, your career does not give u the satisfaction you seek, that being a mother and a wife will not be enough. You want your life to matter, you want to leave a mark. By the time you are through with your 30’s, you should know what this is.

It is not all about you: For single girls, your twenties are marked by high levels of selfishness. You work hard so you can afford that gorgeous shoe, that dress that you saw on the high end boutique. You toil to make life better for yourself. At 30, you should leave the childish ways behind, the world is not about you alone. Give alms, champion causes for the marginalized, tithe and give thanks for all you got.

Chime in and let's add to the list. What are things you have learnt or hoping to have learnt/achieve by the time you hit the big three-oh!